Roger
Dear Roger
How I glowed being near you
Hormones
flooded my awareness
Filled me with unspeakable joy
Overwhelmed my thinking
A place of confidence beyond words
A
last childhood calm
I didn’t hide my feelings
Didn’t name my
feelings
Wasn’t afraid to show them
Without labels
Without
expectations
I was safe
Rah
Rah
Roger
Fellow
rogue
Able to banish my fears with your smile
Able to accept me
unquestioned
Being wise beyond our years
Playing roles
without a script
A haven of chaos and confusion
Yearning to
be grown up
Not knowing if the world would even exist for us to grow
up into
Believing we were on the eve of nuclear destruction
Afraid
of what we might find if we ever went downtown
Rrrrrrrrr
Grrrrrrrr
RRRRRRoger
BBBBBboyfriend
I, I, I,
I never ever even knew
the lust I felt for you
Every day in history class
Sitting
side by side
My body responded
The hardness in my cock
The softness in my heart
Unaware
that the two were connected, let alone the same
So lost
So
very very lost
Each of those precious, all too precious, moments
Lost,
lost, lost
In a last full bloom of innocence
A decade later
We met at the Oyster Bar
Grand Central Station
It was early
afternoon
We were almost alone
Still trying too hard to be
sophisticated
Ordering overrated food in an overrated place
Trying
so hard to connect the pieces of our past to our present
I left
angry that my adult fantasies would not be satisfied by a childhood love
I left more alone than when I arrived
I left sad that I had clouded
my memory with desires of a later time
And so lost both past and
present
Now, two decades further along
I remember the texture
of your skin
The wind in your hair
The light in your eyes
I smile to myself and wish you well
Wherever you may be